Discovering Remus' Secret
by 15Wolffan8
Summary: Sirius begins to suspect Remus when he, once again, lies about where he's going. When Sirius decides to follow him, and discovers his secret, will Sirius ever forgive him and will it be too late? Rated T
1. Chapter 1

There are a lot of things Remus Lupin keeps secret. He does not speak about the Marauders prank plans, his sick relatives or his true feelings. However, he tells his best friends, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, almost everything with one exception. They don't know, and will not know, that Remus Lupin is a werewolf. No. That's one secret he will not share no matter what the consequences are. Not only will they abandon him but Remus could be expelled for this secret leaking out and that is the only thing he promise his mum when he left only a year ago to attend Hogwarts, well that and to keep safe, to stay in school. Its not that he does not trust his friends, he trusts them will his life, but he knows things will be different if they ever found out. So when Sirius became suspicious, Remus became more nervous and agitated then he had ever been.

"I've told you where I'm going." He almost snapped as Sirius caught up with him after transfiguration. James and Peter where still packing their stuff away as Remus had quickly rushed out of the room, Sirius following.

"Your mums ill?" he sounded unconvinced but Remus had no choice but to keep lying.

"Yes she is. I need to look after her because my dad has a job to attend." With one final act of desperation, Remus started to speed up once again. His legs ached at the speed but he did not slow down. Sirius, however, was ready for this and had caught up with him with ease.

"Why you acting suspiciously then?" He asked again, dodging a first year that screamed and almost dropped her ink.

"I'm not." He practically ran into the Hall and sat down for dinner. Sirius, of course, sat across from him, knowing Remus could not run away.

"You've just sprinted from transfiguration to get away from me and my questions." He ignored the potatoes in front of him, though he couldn't help glancing at them longingly.

"Take a hint then." He smiled a small smile and poured gravy over his roast before looking into Sirius' grey eyes. "She really is ill, Sirius." He hoped his seriousness and his ability to look straight at him would be enough to convince him, well until next month at least. The smell of the potatoes and beef won Sirius over for he shrugged and began to eat, a frown etched on his face. Remus sighed in relief even though he knew Sirius would continue to ask him questions later.

"You two must really like roast." James grumbled as he and Peter sat down next to Remus and Sirius. Sirius raised his eyebrows questionably.

"Rushing of just now." James grabbed some food whilst Peter stuffed carrots into his mouth.

"Remus was keen to avoid me." Sirius glanced at Remus who was studying his food like it was a potions test he needed an answer to.

"Couldn't blame him." James jokingly smirked at Sirius who stuck out his tongue in response.

"Quidditch tryouts tomorrow," Peter changed the subject swiftly. "You two nervous?" he looked specifically at James who had been practising all through the night.

"No." Sirius and James replied simultaneously, both of them where pretty confident they would get into the team.

"You coming to watch?" James asked, not really bothered about the answer for he was just being politely interested.

"Wouldn't miss it!" Peter exclaimed which made Sirius and James laugh at his enthusiasm, a bit too mockingly for Remus' taste.

"What about you Remus. Are you going to be there with a 'I love Sirius' t-shirt on and chanting your affections." He laughed at the insulted look on Peter's face whilst James had to cough three times after he chocked when laughing.

"Sorry I have better things to do then watch you two make a fool of yourselves." Remus retorted, earning him a smile from Peter. "Besides, homework." The truth was, the tryouts where close to the full moon. Madame Pomfrey had become increasingly paranoid in winter because the full moon seemed to be much earlier.

"Pity." Sirius mumbled as he poked, annoyed, at his beef as his appetite disappeared. Why was Remus lying to him? And where was Remus going tomorrow?

In the common room that night, Sirius stared at Remus from across the room. If anyone were to look at him right now, he would be considered a bit of a stalker. Sirius noticed things about Remus he had been too busy to notice before. He could see scars along his arms and neck, he had noticed these when they first met but now when he looked, there were more, and he was much more paler. He didn't know why these things mattered in the mystery of Remus' disappearance but he was sure they were significant in an unknown way.

"Earth to Sirius." James franticly waved his hand in front of Sirius' face, making him jump in shock. "Who are you staring at?" he tried to follow his gaze but Sirius looked at him instead.

"Amber?" James chuckled and sat across from him on another char, staring into the fire. "Lily?" Sirius recognised that look of frustration and confusion after James' attempts to talk to Lily. He looked around and, sure enough, there was Lily Evans with her friends, giggling and slightly pointing in James' direction. An eye roll from Lily made Sirius laugh.

"S'not funny Sirius." James mumbled, his hand firmly on his cheek as he whispered curses under his breath. Whilst James was moaning, Sirius resumed his studying of Remus.

"I'm going to our dorm." Peter informed the boys who were not paying any attention to him at all. Remus said goodnight, Sirius nodded and James ignored him completely. Huffing, Peter marched up the boy's stairs.

"I think I'm going too." Remus closed his book and followed Peter upstairs, Sirius immediately followed without informing James who seemed to be feeling sorry for himself.

"So what time are you leaving tomorrow?" Sirius asked the back of Remus who was startled at the unexpected voice.

"What?"

"Visiting you mother. When are you going?" Sirius was beginning to loose patience at the lack of trust Remus was giving him.

"6:00." Remus shuddered slightly that did not escape Sirius' attention. "Look Sirius," he sighed and guided him towards his bed. "I really am visiting my mother. Please just drop it?" he was asking him and his eyes were pleading. Finally, Sirius sighed and agreed before changing and lying in his bed. He was going to find out where Remus goes to every month and he'll need James' help, maybe Peter as well if he wants to. As he lay there, thinking about the plan, James walked in and walked towards his own bed. If Sirius wasn't between reality and sleep at the time, he would of sworn he heard a quiet sob coming from Remus' bed.

At breakfast, Sirius was going through his plan for following Remus. His plan meant he would have to miss Quidditch tryouts and even though the thought upset him a bit, he convinced himself it was the right thing to do. However, this also meant asking for James' help was out of the question for he had been waiting for this chance for a year and the very thought of missing out on another year was practically unthinkable. So he had to ask for Peter's help. When Remus and James left to go to class, Sirius leaned in and whispered to Peter.

"I need your help." These words lit up the boys face instantly. Sirius felt pity for the boy who looked too eager to please. "Do you mind missing the Quidditch tryouts today?" Peter's face dropped a little but he continued to listen with just enough interest in his expression. He nodded his head slowly. "I need you to follow Remus with me." He told Peter the plan and only stopped talking when they were alerted to go to their next lesson.

"Get into pairs and follow the instructions that are now written on the board. Begin." Before the boys could meet with their usual partners, James and Sirius and Remus and Peter, Sirius quickly pared himself with Peter. If James and Remus were surprised they hid it well as they shrugged and pared themselves together. As Sirius chopped his ingredients, Peter was asking him questions about their plan.

"How am I going to get James' cloak without him knowing?" the panic in his tone was evidential.

"He'll be trying out for chaser. Just go up to the dorm and remove it from his trunk." Sirius accidentally sliced his thumb and with a loud "Fuck!" he sucked on it, still muttering about loosing concentration.

"What if he finds out?" he completely ignored Sirius' groans and looked frighteningly at James. The last thing he wanted is James being mad at him.

"I'll take the blame if you want but I doubt he'll be mad." Peter still didn't look convinced so Sirius decided on a new tactic. "Look, I'll ask James if we can borrow it. Will that make you feel better?" it certainly did for Peter's face filled with relief and he finally began to help with their potion. Sirius felt slightly guilty for lying to Peter, for he had no intention on asking James, until he looked at Remus. He looked really ill. No. He was going to do whatever it took to find out what the hell was wrong.

10 minutes before James walked towards the Quidditch pitch, Sirius took him to one side.

"I can't try out with you." He looked down at the floor, not wanting James to see his face.

"Why?" James was obviously confused. They had been discussing this for the past two months.

"I wouldn't be able to hold my nerve." It took all his strength to say that. He knew James would laugh and mock him for being shy. But he didn't. He looked quite pitiful.

"Are you sure?" he asked after a long silence.

"Yes. I have to do my erm…Potions. Sorry I can't go and watch you either but I know you'll do great!" he added at the end. James didn't look convinced but his own nerves distracted him. Instead, he walked out of the dorm and onto the Quidditch pitch. Sirius looked at his watch: 5:45. Only fifteen more minutes before Remus 'visits his mother'. If the plan was going correctly, Peter should be in their dorm, collecting the invisibility cloak. Sirius paced the corridor, cheeking over his shoulder for any sign of a teacher or Remus himself until,

"I'm here." Peter's voice whispered form apparently nowhere. Peter appeared just in front of him, his cheeks red.

"What happened?" Sirius asked in the same tone as Peter threw the cloak over them both.

"Remus was there. He asked me questions about why I was in James' trunk." Sirius heart fell slightly. Maybe the plan had failed. "I told him I needed the map. So I've got it too." Sirius smiled at this. He hadn't thought of using the map because it was not accurate. He looked at the map, which told him Remus was descending from the Gryffindor common room which made sense considering it was 6. They waited at the bottom and sure enough, Remus was at the bottom, waiting for someone. For one wild moment, Sirius though Remus had a girlfriend until Madame Pomfrey appeared.

"Now you have a bit of time until nightfall but we'd better hurry just in case." Sirius had never seen her so tense before, not even when his finger was hanging of after a duel with Snape. Remus looked just as tense and before he even realised, they were both exiting the castle.

"Come on." He whispered to Peter and together, they followed Remus and Madame Pomfrey. They were heading for the Whomping Willow. Sirius glanced at Peter who had the same confused, and slightly frightened, look he had. "Let's get a bit closer." He said as he quickened his steps.

"It will be up in few minutes." Madame Pomfrey instructed Remus who just nodded and continued walking towards the tree. "I'll be here in the morning to take you to the hospital wing." Remus flinched. "Did you tell your friends that you wont be back for Friday?" she asked as she searched along the ground for something.

"Yes." Sirius gasped at the distant tone of his friend. He was obviously terrified.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell them? It will be so much easier on you." She had stopped her rummaging and was looking at him with pity.

"I can't tell them." His voice was hardly audible now.

"They'll understand my dear. Oh here it is!" she exclaimed as she grabbed hold of a very long stick. She slowly walked forwards and pressed a small knot at the roots of the tree, which made it freeze instantly.

"How could they?" His voice was rising, giving the impression he was having a panic attack. "I'm a monster!" His voice was harsh and cold. Peter whimpered and then received a nudge in the ribs to silence him.

"You're not dear. Its just a… disease." She looked to the sky, which had grown even darker.

"Its not a disease. Being a werewolf is a curse." Sirius felt the world spinning. He could feel Peter faint at his side, exposing him. His stomach turned and his head ached. Werewolf? Remus? It couldn't be true! He's so kind and smart and… Its not true! Its not possible! Yet it is…

"Oh my!" Madame Pomfrey shrieked as she glanced over Remus' shoulder to see Peter's unconscious form and half of Sirius' body. Remus spun around only to have his heart ripped out. They know…

"Boys!" she screamed as she pushed Remus towards the tree. "Go! I'll take care of them!" she whispered to a reluctant Remus. He had the urge to resist and run back to his friends, trying to explain but he could see the moon forming and he had only seconds before pain. With one last look at Peter and Sirius, he climbed into the shack and let the wolf take over.


	2. Chapter 2

The moon broke out of the cover of the darkened clouds and hovered above, its shinning light engulfing the night sky. Remus fell to the ground, his whole body burned and he suffered the familiar pain he had suffered for nine years. However, the pain he felt was not physical but mental. _They know_, he thought as his legs grew and his fingernails transformed into claws. _I'll be kicked out of school. I'll have no_ _friends._ _My life is ruined… _His agonizing scream erupted out of his mouth as a howl, the sound shaking the whole shack and before he blacked out and let the wolf take over, one thought stayed with him, haunting his nightmares: _This is going to be the worst yet. _And oh, how right he was.

Sirius body had shut down. He couldn't feel and he wasn't aware were he was or who he was with. His mind, however, was very much alive as it tortured him with images of one of his best friends killing him in different ways until he couldn't stand it anymore. He screamed.

"If you don't mind, Mr Black, we are trying to have a conversation." Sirius' eyes focussed for the first time on his surroundings. He was sitting in the headmasters office, books stored safely on bookshelves, magical ornaments in cabinets, Fawkes, the Phoenix perched on a chair and the headmaster himself sitting behind his desk. Professor Mcgonagall was looking at him, annoyance obvious in her eyes and he knew that she was the one who had spoken.

"Mr Black," the headmaster's calm voice was full of concern but Sirius had a feeling it wasn't for him. This sparked anger inside Sirius he hadn't felt for anyone but his family. "Mr Lupin's condition is highly secret and must not be spoken to anyone. Not to your parents," Sirius snorted but this was ignored. "To any student and especially the press." His blue eyes stared intently at Sirius and he swore the old guy was looking straight into his soul.

"Yes sir." He murmured. He didn't owe Lupin anything but he didn't want to disappoint the headmaster. However, silently, Sirius Black vowed that if Remus Lupin laid one finger on any other student, including Slytherins, he would expose him for the monster he was.

Remus woke up to the feel of soft bed sheets and he knew straight away he was in the hospital wing. However, something was defiantly wrong. He couldn't move. His legs and arms were weighing him down, forcing him into the mattress. This had never happened before. He always felt pain were he had slashed himself during the transformation and his limbs ached but he never felt like this. When he thought about it, he didn't even feel pain and he didn't know why but this terrified him more than if his arm was spilling blood.

"Remus?" a quiet voice issuing from his left made him turn his head. Madame Pomfrey was sitting on the visitor's chair; her face was red and her eyes were swollen like she had been crying.

"Why can't I move?" his voice was the same tone as hers and he could almost feel the despair in the room.

"It was a bad transformation." He already knew this before he even turned into the wolf but he couldn't remember why… "You attacked yourself more often and more severe this time. I think it was because your mind was elsewhere, which is understandable considering the circumstances," Remus did not understand what she meant by that but is inability to move was scaring him so he let her continue. "What I'm trying to say Remus is that I think…" she had to take a deep breath to calm the hysteria that was building up in her chest. "Remus, I think you've been paralysed."

"You mean I wont be able to move again? Ever?" It was Remus' turn to panic.

"No! I think you will. But I don't think things will be…normal." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Remus, which did not reassure him at all. Instead, he began to have a panic attack. If he could move, his body would be shaking like an electric shock. The last thing he saw before Madame Pomfrey put him back to sleep was the shocked face of his former friend in the bed next to him: Peter.

"Can I tell James, sir?" Sirius asked the headmaster as he led him to the Gryffindor Common room. Apparently, he was taken to the hospital wing when he collapsed (Not fainted!) and was then escorted to Dumbledore's office were he had stared at the same spot for almost an hour before he screamed. Dumbledore studied his face for a second before making a decision.

"Yes I think you should," he told the Fat Lady the password and stood at the entrance to the common room, Sirius halfway in and out. "But warn him not to tell anyone. And Mr Black," Sirius turned towards him. "Be easy on Mr Lupin." And with one sympathetic smile, he retreated down the stairs. _Yeah right! _He thought as he entered the common room. James was sitting by the fire; his face was screwed up in concentration as he scribbled on a piece of parchment.

"We need to talk." He murmured as he sat across from James.

"Can't it wait? I have to finish this stupid charms essay." He sighed and continued to scribble out words and replacing them.

"Its about Remus." The acid in his voice caught James' attention.

"Look if it's about your suspicions, I'd just drop it. If he is hiding something, he obviously doesn't want us to know."

"He's a werewolf, James." He looked at James and tried to find his own emotions written in his friends face: Betrayal, anger, maybe disgust but there was only shock.

"How could you possibly know that?" his voice was quiet but it still sounded like a demand.

"Me and Peter followed him last night. He admitted it to Madame Pomfrey before he ran of. Oh and Dumbledore told me not to tell anyone, except for you, but to be honest, I don't think I can keep that promise." Sirius hadn't noticed, but his voice had raised and he was staring at James like it was his fault. He calmed himself quickly.

"We have to keep it a secret." James shrugged and looked out of the window, the charms essay forgotten.

"I know that. Thanks to Dumbledore."

"No, not because of Dumbledore," James turned to Sirius and his eyes bored into his own. "For Remus' sake."

"Why should we help him!" he was shouting now, luckily everyone was either still asleep or at breakfast. "He lied to us!"

"For good reason. Look Sirius, Remus needs are help. Just don't be to rash in excluding him." and with that, James Potter left the fuming Sirius and walked down the hall for breakfast, his news of becoming Gryffindor's new Chaser fading away.

Sirius was grumpy for the entire day; he even ignored a bunch of Ravenclaw third years that were flirting with him intently.

"Where's Peter?" James asked during History of Magic, the most boring of all subjects at Hogwarts.

"He banged his head pretty hard when he fainted so he has to stay in the Hospital Wing for the day." He mumbled as he sketched on the pack of his parchment.

"We should visit him." James did not mean Peter, even though turning up would make Peter happy.

"Remus will he there." He dismissed the idea straight away, to James' annoyance.

"Its not his fault!" James hissed, the anger at Sirius' ignorance finally getting the better of him, "Do you think he wanted to be bitten? He has to go through that every month so how do you think he feels?"

"I'm not angry because he's a… You-Know-What!" Even though that bit was bit terrifying, "He lied to us!" Sirius clenched his fist three times to ease the temptation to hit James just because he was there.

"I'm going. You're welcome to come with me." He sighed and left the classroom before anyone else.

Remus head was aching, which would have been a bad thing but for Remus, actually feeling pain was a good start. He had begun to twitch his fingers, to Madame Pomfrey's delight. She was now convinced he'd be able to move his arms. However, she was not confident with his legs.

"Don't be disappointed though my dear," she had said. "Your already able to move your fingers after only one day, I'm sure there will be improvement in your legs." Her voice held no certainty at all. Peter had talked to him, cowered from him and finally accepted him.

"I'm sure James and Sirius will too." He had squeaked, again, his voice did not sound certain. _I wish people would stop doing that. _He sighed. Then, after hearing approaching footsteps but dismissing them as a teacher, James appeared right next to him, startling him.

"How you doing Remus?" he asked, a fake grin plastered on his face.

"James!" He exclaimed. He was about to reach up and hug him but then remembered he couldn't.

"Its ok. I know and you know what, I don't give a shit." And with that, James Potter accepted his werewolf friend forever more.

"Where's Sirius?" James' expression told him all he needed to know. Sirius Black had abandoned him. _What did you expect_, the cruel voice in his head scolded him, _you're a lying monster. _

"He'll come around." Remus wished people would stop acting certain when they obviously weren't. "So how long until your back on your feet?" James asked cheerfully, grabbing a chocolate frog and nibbling on it. Both Remus and Peter cringed.

"You don't know?" Remus looked up sadly at James.

"Know what?"

"I can't walk, James. I've been paralysed." And with that, James Potter just had the worst day of his life.

"Paralysed?" Sirius whispered as James told him the news

"Yes. They think he'll be able to sit up but Madame Pomfrey thinks he wont be able to walk again." He slumped onto the chair and buried his face in his hands, aware that Sirius was standing over him.

"How?"

"Bad transformation apparently. "His mind was in a bad place," his impression of Madame Pomfrey was accurate. " So now we just…wait."

"What about when he turns into a… werewolf." Sirius' voice hardened a tiny bit when he said werewolf.

"They don't know," James' expression was sorrowful. "But Madame Pomfrey thinks there's a possibility it could be lethal to him."

Sorry for the delay and the fact that this chapter is quite bad, I've had a bad case of Writers Block and desperately need Madame Pomfrey to help :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Harry Potter and the characters belong to J.K Rowling.

* * *

As Sirius paced the dorm room, he frantically tried to establish his thoughts and feelings for Remus Lupin. Did he feel betrayal? Defiantly. Anger? Yes he did feel angry but not towards Remus, which was strange. Sadness? He could die. Guilt? Yes. That's what he felt more than anything because right now, he was wasting his time sulking when Remus needed him. He couldn't do anything to help him but the least he could do was to _be there_. He slowly sat on his bed and placed his head in his hands. This was all so confusing. For his entire life, he was taught to hate muggle-borns, to avoid half-breads and to be superior in every way because he was pureblood. His brother, Regulus, lived by these believes with a passion, whilst he thought the complete opposite. However, his parents thought werewolves to be 'unnatural', 'Infested' and 'Dangerous'. And Sirius had to admit that's one thing they agreed on. So his knowledge and friendship of the gentle, smart and caring Remus Lupin being a ranging, beastly werewolf was enough to make his head hurt. He opinions and believes clashed so often he thought he could feel them battling it out in his head. He sighed, laid down and stared at the ceiling. He remembered the first time he met Remus on the train. He'd asked if he could share his carriage when he escaped from his parent's lectures on 'holding the family honour.'

_"Could I sit in here?" The 11-year-old-Sirius-Black was standing in the entrance to the carriage, looking at the blonde first year that was intensely reading. He looked up, his amber eyes quickly observing him before nodding his approval. _

_"I'm Remus by the way." The kid said, not looking up this time as Sirius smiled to a book cover. _

_"I'm Sirius Black." Remus' eyebrows turned down into a frown slightly before he composed himself and turned his expression expressionless._

_"Black." He scoffed as he tried to move away. Black's where no good._

_"I'm not like them!" Sirius exclaimed quickly, startling Remus. He didn't know why he had to prove himself to this boy but if everyone automatically thought badly of him because of his family, what chance did he have of making real friends in Hogwarts? "I don't believe anything they say." He mumbled as he played with his fingers. Remus looked up and studied Sirius again before smiling._

_"Ok then. Lupin is my surname by the way." Sirius looked up at Remus and returned his smile. He hadn't pushed him away and Sirius would never forget that._

"Sirius?" Sirius gasped and quickly sat upright. Someone gave out a high-pitched shriek, familiar to a female's, and fell backwards onto the ground with an "umph!" James was looking up at Sirius, who was silently laughing. "Don't tell anyone!"

"About what? That you scream like a girl?"

"Shut up!" he blushed slightly as he sat on the end of Sirius' bed. "What've you been doing then?" he looked around the room as he asked.

"Nothing really." Sirius lied. To be honest, he was suffering from a headache after all that confusion. "How's Remus?"

"Better." James said as he stared right at Sirius who was avoiding eye contact. "He acts like he understands why you haven't visited him and that he doesn't mind as long as you're comfortable but to be honest, Sirius, he's upset." Way to make him feel guilty.

"I don't think I'm ready yet." His lame excuse earned him a snort from James.

"You're not committing yourself to him Sirius! He's going through a hard time and he needs his friends."

"Then he should off told us in the first place!" Sirius snapped and then froze. Well at least now he knew why he didn't want to see Remus.

"Wow," James looked at Sirius like he'd only just met him. "You're avoiding him just because he didn't tell us? I never knew you were so self-involved Sirius." He stood up and made his way to the dorm door. "I'll be in the hospital wing when you're ready to grow up." And then he left, leaving a miserable and guilt infested Sirius to think once more.

* * *

" I've got the Merlin and Dumbledoor cards." Remus held the chocolate frog cards in his left hand as he watched a Dumbledoor peered over his spectacles to look at him.

"Is that it?" Peter asked from the chair on his right.

"Yes." Peter looked at him and then laughed.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you didn't collect them."

"I only kept these two because they're really good wizards," Remus shrugged. "I've never got into them." They actually bored him but he didn't say that out loud. He wouldn't put it past a group of people to attack him for being so 'abnormal'. Remus actually had never met anyone who didn't collect chocolate frog cards. It was like an obsession in the wizard community.

"Hey Remus!" James entered carrying about five books under his arm. Remus smiled, now that's more like it. "Thought you'd like these." He deposited them on the foot of Remus' bed and then took the vacant chair next to Peter.

"Thanks James." He reached over and grabbed one of them: To Kill a Mockingbird. "Excellent." He murmured to himself as he flipped it over to read the blurb.

"Erm Sirius had…other things to do," James awkwardly twiddled his thumbs. "He said he's sorry though." Remus knew he was lying, of course, but he appreciated James' intentions.

"It's ok James." He tried to sound convincing but even Peter recognised the hurt in his tone. He hastily continued to sort through his books. He was able to sit up now and he was glad for the control over his arms and upper body. His legs, however, where as still and motionless as they had been for the past week. He was scared at first (More like terrified) but, as the news sank in, he started to calm. Maybe being in a wheelchair won't make much of a difference. Of course they would be things he wouldn't be able to do: Quidditch for one but as Remus thought about it, he didn't enjoy it that much. But the thing that still panicked him was the full moon. He overheard Madame Pomfrey talking to Dumbledoor and he knew the dangers of the full moon in his condition. However, it couldn't be stopped. He was just going to have to hope for the best.

"When is your first game, James?" Peter asked as he bit the head of his chocolate frog.

"In about two weeks." James said as he flicked through his charms book. He often came up here when he had homework and Remus knew he still was his helper even now. He smiled at that even though it was such a small similarity from before. "The Ravenclaw's." he added and Remus noticed he clenched his jaw at that.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"Courtney Frenzle is on their team. She's _too_ good." If Remus didn't know James he would of thought he was worried.

"You'll do great James." Remus reassured him and the fact Remus was not lying made James relax. Remus sighed and rested his head on his pillow. Sirius kept jumping back into his train of thought no matter how hard he tried to keep him out. It hurt him to think of Sirius as a former fried so he resulted to pushing him out of his mind all together. No good. He reluctantly began to think about the first lesson they had both attended: Transfiguration.

_"I hear Mcgonogall turned a kids toad into a teapot and he burst out crying." Sirius was smiling at that imagine._

_"That sounds mean." Remus said as his mind began to run through images of Professor Mcgonogall punishing him by turning him into a woolly hat. He shuddered at the thought, especially if he was turned into a pink woolly hat. _

_"It would be hilarious." Sirius sniggered as he pushed open the transfiguration classroom and took a seat in the middle of the five rows. Remus sat next to him and watched James and Peter sat on the other two chairs. "Hey Remus," Sirius turned towards him with a serious look on his face and he had scrunched his hair back so he face tightened and he had paper glasses on. "Who am I?" Remus smiled at the ridicules image. _

_"No idea." He lied. _

_"I'm professor Mcgonogall silly. 'Mr Black! Don't put frog spawn in Peter's drink!'" his impression was quite impressive._

_"You what!" Peter looked horrified which made James laugh even more than he was already from Sirius' impression._

_"I'm so grumpy my face is permanently scratched into a frown." He did an over-the-top-frown to prove his point. _

_"If you have quite finished Mr Black I would like to begin the lesson." Professor Mcgonogall's voice right behind Sirius made him bark in surprise and fall of the chair, which was awarded with sniggers and jeers from the Slytherins. Remus had laughed for ten minutes straight. _

Remus had a ghost of that smile plastered on his face when he came back into reality. He blinked twice but was relieved to find James and Peter in a heated discussion about Quidditch. He adored James and Peter and was so grateful for them but Remus couldn't hold back the need for Sirius to be here with them all, laughing and humiliating himself like he always does. With a troubled sigh, Remus, once again, pushed Sirius Black out of his mind.

* * *

Sirius was in the common room when Peter and James walked through.

"No! Rodger Ysande is the best seeker and you know it!" James declared as he sat across from Sirius and glared at Peter.

"Yeah, whatever James." He rolled his eyes and sat next to him. He then noticed Sirius watching him and suddenly he felt awkward. "So what did you do today, Sirius?" he felt like he had to ask a question for some reason. Sirius shrugged.

"Thought."

"That's a first." James said. Sirius knew that James would make that sort of comment but what he didn't expect to hear so much certainty to it. No humour at all.

"Look James…"

"No Sirius." James cut him of. "You need to sort yourself out 'cause your hurting Remus by avoiding him." He was flicking through a book quite fiercely and every page he turned, Sirius flinched.

" I'm trying."

"Then try a bit harder." James looked at him then. "He's the same person, Sirius." That was said more calmly, which made Sirius relax a bit. Only a tiny bit though.

"I'll see him soon." Sirius promised. _Oh great_, he thought, _I'm going to break another_ _promise._


	4. Chapter 4

I don't do this a lot:

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Harry Potter. J.K Rowling does. **

* * *

There was only one day until the full moon and Remus was really agitated and nervous. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself, reading, talking to James and Peter, his thoughts would always return to the full moon and, occasionally, Sirius. Deep down he knew he should just forget about him, concentrate on tomorrow since being calm during the full moon is essential and worrying about Sirius was defiantly not relaxing. But he couldn't help but feel hurt.

"Don't worry Remus." James said in that false cheery tone as he tried to look comfortable in the chair next to his bed but Remus could see him mess with a small silver thimble, classic proof that James was anything but calm. "We're going to be here for you."

"Yeah, we're not going to abandon you like…erm…what I mean is," Peter began to stutter until he became red from embarrassment. "We'll be here." He finally muttered. In the corner of his eyes, Remus saw James scowling at Peter from across the bed.

"Thanks guys." He sighed and tried to relax. _You'll be ok_; he chanted inside his head, _everything's going to be fine._

"Remus, my dear," Madame Pomfrey rushed towards his bed, her hair sticking in all kinds of directions and her eyes were red from sleep deprivation. She'd worked too hard trying to come up with a remedy to help him during the transformation and she'd suffered because of it. She always reassured him it was no big deal and she was perfectly fine whenever Remus mentioned it but he always knew that she wasn't ok. Now, looking at her, Remus felt guilt that it was because of him she was in such a state but he also felt a strong wave of gratitude. "I've got your pills." She held out a small, glass vial, which contained three medium-sized pills. He accepted the vial and pulled it closer to his eyes.

"What…?"

"Calming pills." She said as she checked her notes. "These will keep you calm during the transformation." He knew there was much more to it then that, Muggles have made something like calming pills didn't they, and besides, she'd spent the last few weeks making these so there obviously must be something more complicated to them.

"Thank you." He was about to place them on his bedside table when she stopped him.

"You need to take them now, dear." She said.

"Why? Shouldn't I take them just before I change?"

"Its safer to take them twenty four hours before." She, once again, handed him the pills. "I'll bring some more in about four hours." She smiled a sad smile at Remus before attending to a Hufflepuff in the opposite bed who had broken his leg in a Quidditch accident. Peter offered him water in silence, and with a forced smile, Remus swallowed the pills one-by-one.

"Calm yet?" James asked with an over-casual tone. Remus was about to make a sarcastic remark but he suddenly felt exhausted. With his last thought, Madame Pomfrey just drugged me, he blacked out.

* * *

James sat upright so suddenly that Peter squealed and fell of his chair.

"Madame Pomfrey!" James exclaimed as he touched Remus' pulse in his wrist. _He's alive,_ he thought as Madame Pomfrey calmly, _calmly?_ made her way towards them. Then, she too placed her fingers on Remus' pulse.

"He's ok, Mr Potter." She tried to sound confident but James could hear the relief in her voice. "The best way to relax Remus was to put him to sleep. During the full moon, I'll supply him with the right medication." With that, she walked away.

"Did Madame Pomfrey just drug Remus?" Peter asked in disbelief as he gazed down at Remus' unconscious form. James let out a hysterical laugh as relief swept over him. He's all right.

"I never knew she had it in her." He commented through giggles, erm chuckles. He blushed.

"How did quidditch go last night?" Peter asked with the same old enthusiasm he always had when it came to quidditch.

"We won." He shrugged it of in a no-big-deal way but, truthfully, James was buzzing from his first victory.

"That's great!" Peter grinned at James who grinned back. They had both agreed to stay with Remus at all times but when one of them had to leave, the other would stay with Remus so Peter had missed the game.

"It was awesome." And with that, James described the entire game as Peter awarded him with claps of approval and admiration.

* * *

Remus dreamt of his past when he was sleeping. He was a child, maybe eight or seven, and his parents had taken him to the park. He hadn't visited the park for about three years, after the biting, so he was extremely excited,

"Now my dear," his mother's soothing voice automatically calmed Remus. He was dressed in his winter clothes: a woolly hat, scarf, gloves, and a coat so long you couldn't tell that he was wearing jeans. "Be careful of sharp edges and stay where we can see you." With a peck on the cheek, a giggling Remus ran towards the swings and jumped on one. His mother worried about him a lot and was often paranoid but he didn't mind. He liked it when his mother showed he affection towards him and, at that moment, Remus didn't care about the nicknames the kids at school called him. He started to swing until he was at the maximum height his mother would allow and then he let his head fall back. He counted the clouds and he suddenly felt at peace for the first time since the accident. Then, his dream changed to only a year ago when he, James, Peter and Sirius were watching the final of quidditch that year: Gryffindor Vs Ravenclaw. He was wearing a Gryffindor scarf and Sirius had forced a flag into his hand. Peter looked almost the same as him accept for red and yellow stripes painted on his left cheek. James and Sirius, however, looked as if they'd been painted, plastered and printed in Gryffindor themed clothes. Painted was literal. They were both painted red, accept for their faces, they wore scarves, waved banners and every thirty seconds they charmed the stands to read: Go Gryffindor!

"Gryffindor! Gryffindor! Gryffindor!" Everyone around him chanted and every single one of them were smiling as their team scored over and over again.

"We're going to win!" Sirius laughed so severely he started to cough. James slung his arms around Sirius and Peter and Sirius flung his own arm around Remus, all of them grinning. The whole arena fell silent as the two seekers flew across the field at a speed Remus could never achieve. The whole Gryffindor supporters filled with silent excitement as their seeker stretched out his arm. Then, there was an explosion of cheering. Sirius and James jumped in the air and hugged each other and Peter and Remus high-five. Everyone was cheering as the team celebrated on the pitch. Remus felt excitement and happiness as his house held up the cup and his friends celebrated at his side.

* * *

The next day, late afternoon, Sirius was pacing his dorm, practically ripping his hair out, trying to get his thoughts together. He cursed himself for the third time that day. How pathetic was he? He could imagine himself plucking petals from a flower chanting "Should I see him, should I not?" he grabbed James' invisibility cloak, not caring about asking first, marked out of his dorm and left the Gryffindor Common room. He flung the cloak over himself and began to wander the school. He didn't have a destination but he wanted to distract himself. As he began to walk the corridors, he began to hear the faint sound of a discussion. Curious, he followed the noise until he came to Dumbledoor's office. One of the professors was about to say the password and, with a snap decision, Sirius followed. As the professor opened the door to the headmaster's office, Sirius crept inside and stood in the corner, ears-dropping on the teacher's arguments.

"The boy will never make it!" One of the professors shouted above the rest as he slammed his fist against a table that had been specially moved into the office for this meeting.

"He will!" Madame Pomfrey looked on the verge of tears as she stroked a glass vial.

"We all know who can help him, don't we?" The charms professor declared, and instantly, they all went silent. "Sirius Black." Sirius' stomach clenched as he realised who they were talking about.

"Why don't we simply force the boy to apologize? All he needs is the reassurance for the pill to work." The potions professor looked…well bored.

"He'll detect if Sirius lies," Madame Pomfrey sighed. "That won't work."

"Then what?" Professor McGonagall looked uncomfortable and sad. They'd had this discussion before.

"We have to have faith in Mr Lupin," the headmaster's calm but stern voice silenced them all. "We can not force Mr Black to accept Mr Lupin so the pills that Poppy supplies will have to do."

"It could be fatal." Someone murmured.

"I know." Dumbledoor looked drained and that was enough for Sirius to leave, feeling like he'd just been dismissed. If anyone noticed a door opening and closing on its own, they did not comment as Sirius made his way downstairs. He pulled the cloak of and slumped to the floor. For once, Sirius' mind wasn't racing with clashing thoughts and feelings. He jumped up and ran to the hospital wing, not knowing that Remus was waiting at the dinner hall's entrance for Madame Pomfrey, who would then escort him to the shrieking shack for his transformation.

* * *

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :) It will be the last next chapter but I promise I'll get it done in the next few days to make up for the long gap between this chapter and the last. I'm really happy with the response this story has gotten so, again, thanks for that. Feel free to review, even if it's to tell me how bad it is ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**.

This chapter involves a lot of running and a will-he-make-it-will-he-not.

* * *

Sirius' heart was pounding way too fast, his legs ached and his lungs felt like they were on fire but he still kept running. _I'm an idiot_, he thought as he pushed past two Hufflepuff's who shouldn't of been out of their dorms at this time and by the blushes on their faces, Sirius really didn't want to know their reasons. He jumped down a flight of stairs, spraining his ankle in the process, and ran straight into Filch.

"Ah, Mr Black," His eyes lit up in glee as he studied Sirius, his fists tightening with thoughts he really didn't want to know. "Out after time are we?" If Sirius weren't in such a hurry, he'd laugh and make a sarcastic comment but, as he glanced out the nearest window, he could see the sky darkening and it wouldn't be long until the moon came out.

"I…" he wasn't concentrating on this conversation, in fact, it was boring and irritating him so, with one last glance at the sky, he dodged Filch and continued to run.

"Come back here boy!" Filch yelled but he knew he wouldn't go after him. The image of Filch running almost made Sirius laugh out loud. He ran around a corner and practically burst through the Hospital Wings doors. He stood there for a few seconds, arms stretched to keep the doors open, before he saw that Remus wasn't here. There was only a Hufflepuff in here and he was sleeping, well attempting to bring down the whole castle with his snores was more like it. With a sickening realization, Sirius knew that Remus was already outside and probably on his way to the shrieking shack at that very moment.

* * *

"You all right man?" James placed his hand on Remus' shoulder and gently squeezed in a comforting sort of way. Remus was intently looking at the sky so he didn't hear James at first. "Remus?"

"Mmm?" He looked at James, a vacant look in his eyes.

"You ok?"

"Yes." He lied. His stomach was doing somersaults as twilight settled in the sky and, for the first time in the last month, he actually felt like crying. A harsh, bitter breeze ruffled his clothes and bit at his skin but, weirdly, it wasn't uncomfortable and he enjoyed the cold. It gave him something else to think about.

"How long until Madame Pomfrey comes back?" Peter was shaking, he obviously didn't like the breeze, and he was clutching his robes to himself with urgency. Remus shrugged in response.

"Did she tell you where she was going?" James asked as he began to pace, occasionally looking at the sky and turning pale, as it got darker.

"A meeting." Remus shrugged once more. He didn't really care about anyone at the moment and he also didn't care that he was being selfish. It was ok to be selfish in this circumstance wasn't it?

"I hope she hurries up," Peter's teeth chattered. "It's getting cold." Remus mentally disagreed. He wanted to freeze time and just stay like this forever, not facing the future, be it good or bad. His fingers had gone numb and his lips were chapped as he sensed, rather than saw, the full moon rising. His wolf ears could hear James gulping as he too realised the moon was less than five minutes away.

"I'm here!" the dim shout of Madame Pomfrey filled the air from the castle doors. He hadn't noticed that they'd moved closer to the shack. She jogged over, her hair flying out of control as the wind picked up, and almost ripped Remus' arm of as she dragged him towards the shack. "I'm so sorry I'm late," she was breathing fast and he could hear her heart beating fast in her chest. _Oh_. Remus almost stopped as he realised what that meant. He could _hear_ her heart. He was close. "When Dumbledore gets talking you just can't stop him." She let out a hysterical chuckle as she continued to drag him by his arm. James had to push his wheelchair, which was given to him this morning, just to keep up and ultimately avoid Remus' arm being pulled of.

"Can't…keep…up!" James gasped and Remus could see his cheeks red from his little exercise.

"Oh come on Potter," Madame Pomfrey rolled her eyes. "I thought you were a Quidditch player!" James murmured something incomprehensible but Remus knew it wasn't anything kind. When they reached the tree, she bent down, grabbed a long stick and pushed the knot at the trunk. Immediately, the whole tree froze.

"Cool." James whispered in awe as Peter joined them, panting and sweating.

"Now Remus," Madame Pomfrey turned towards him, her eyes red and swollen. "Take these now." She handed him another glass vial, which had another set of pills in it. He swallowed them, flinching and almost gagging without water, and looked at her again. He swore to himself he wouldn't say goodbye, _I'm going to be ok_, he would think but, looking at Madame Pomfrey, he had to.

"Thank you." He said, smiling. "For everything." She smiled back at him and turned away as tears fell from her eyes.

"We'll be here when you wake up." James' voice cracked and Remus had the suspicion that James was about to cry too.

"And thank you too. Both of you." He didn't hesitate in hugging James and Peter who hugged him back. They stood there like that until Remus could sense the moon making an appearance. He gave them all a sad smile, whipped a tear from his eye and turned around towards the shack.

* * *

"Come on Sirius!" Sirius hissed at himself as he fell to the ground, the pain in his ankle searing through it and up his leg. He pushed himself to his feet, wincing, and continued to make his way outside, not quite running not quite walking. In fact, if anyone were to see him now they'd probably laugh and take pictures: Sirius, the wobbling buffoon. As the doors came into view, so did Mrs Norris. She was standing there, her tail erect, and her eyes shone with intelligence. _There's something really_ _freaky about that cat_, he thought as he continued to wobble to the door, ignoring the cat except to glare at it.

"You!" Filch's croaky voice came from behind him but Sirius continued to walk towards the door. That bastard wasn't going to stop him now.

"I'm talking to you boy!" he shouted a lot closer this time. Sirius yelped as Filch dragged him back by his ropes and chucked him on the floor.

"What the hell!" Sirius yelled as he stood up, anger rising inside of him.

"You do not run from me!" Filch shouted back just as loudly and Sirius could see students from the corner of his eye watching them. He could see the moon behind a cloud and he knew he only had seconds before it rose and Remus would be lost to the wolf. He reached into his pocket and felt his wand. _I'm so going to get expelled for_ _this_, he thought as he raised his arm in the air and hit Filch with a spell that knocked him out. He ignored the gasps and screams of the students behind him and ran out of the door. In the distance, he could see four people around the whooping willow and he immediately knew that Remus was one of them. He ran towards them.

"Remus!" he shouted but his voice was lost in the wind. "Remus!" Nobody turned around and Sirius began to panic. _Please let him hear_. As he ran, he looked at the sky. The moon was almost out. The traitorous part of his brain began to count down: _10, 9,_ _8…_  
"Remus!" he yelled. _7,6,5…_

* * *

Remus slowly guided his wheelchair towards the little gap in the tree that would lead him to the shack. Someone had made it wider and placed a ramp so that Remus could have access. He smiled and thanked whoever was kind enough to do this for him unless it was Filch of course. If it was Filch, he was positive he'd been forced to do it. He paused for a moment as he listened to the animals around him and felt the wind one last time. For a moment, he thought he heard someone shout but dismissed it for his wolf hearing.

* * *

"Remus!" Sirius' voice had sprained but he continued to shout, run and waving his arms in the air like a maniac. He jumped over a rock that almost tripped him, that would have been a disaster if he fell, and continued to shout. _4,3,2…_  
"REMUS!" his lungs burnt, his head spun and his legs couldn't hold him any longer and he fell to the ground. With the last strength and breath he had, he yelled once more: "I forgive you!" _1,0… _he blacked out as the moon rose in the air.

* * *

Sirius moaned as he rubbed his head, he had a major headache and felt his head was splitting. Not a happy image, he thought as he winced at the pain in his ankle. He felt like he'd ran a marathon or something for his legs where stiff and his chest hurt. What the hell had he been doing?

"Morning." Sirius opened his eyes to see James sitting on a chair next to his bed, his eyes where red, his hair more scruffy than normal and his robes where dirty.

"You like you've been run over by one of those Muggle cars." His voice was croaked and he lifted his hand to his throat. _Ow that hurt_.

"Says the one." James smiled and smacked Sirius' hand in a playful manner.

"What happened?"

"Well you ran into Filch, left him shouting and then sprained your ankle jumping down some stairs. You then changed course and began to run outside where you ran into Filch again. You jinked him, sprinted towards the tree yelling Remus' name." James was holding back a laugh, he predicted.

"Remus? Remus!" Sirius jumped up, breathing fast as he realised if Remus was ok he'd be in the hospital wing, in one of the beds. But there was nobody else in any of the beds. He saw Peter sitting next to James, smirking. _When did he get here?_

"What?" Sirius looked to his right to see a grinning Remus sitting by his side. His arm was in a sling and he was sitting in a wheelchair but, other than that, he looked fine.

"Remus!" He flung himself at him and almost knocked him out of his chair. Remus was laughing and so were James and Peter but he didn't care. "I'm sorry." He said as he retreated back to his bed, blushing.

"Me too," He was still smiling but Sirius could sense the seriousness in his expression. "I should have told you." He swatted away the apology and was glad that Remus was ok and swore that Remus Lupin would always be his friend and that he'd protect him. That doesn't sound soppy, Sirius thought with a chuckle.

* * *

Well that's it (except for a sequel) and I hope you enjoyed it :) I'll admit the ending is quite bad but I was in the mood to finish it. Reviews are always welcome and thanks for the brilliant response to my first story x


	6. Chapter 6

The crowd was yelling as the chasers zoomed towards the hoops on the opposite side of the pitch, passing the quaffle between them. Remus was shouting just as loud as the rest of the Gryffindor team as James took aim and professionally threw the quaffle into the right hoop. He celebrated by doing spiral, raising his arm and repeatedly punching the air. Sirius swayed his scarf in the air and high-fived James when he came close to them.

"This is awesome!" Peter squealed at his side. Sirius and Remus glanced at him and cracked up laughing. He really was obsessed with James and quidditch. Gryffindor was thirty points ahead and James had scored most of their points. He was on fire!

"I think they've spotted the snitch!" Sirius pointed towards the sky where two figures where spiralling towards the ground. However, Remus could see one of the Slytherin chasers change course and come flying towards the Gryffindor seeker. Their seeker was concentrating on the snitch so he didn't know that the Slytherin was about to block him of. Remus was about to tell Sirius but he had already noticed.

"Can he…?"

"Yes," Sirius mumbled. "As long as he doesn't collide with him, yes." Some of the Gryffindor's where shouting towards their seeker but he couldn't hear them. The whole Gryffindor supporters watched in horror as the Slytherin advanced on their seeker, the chance of winning the cup slipping away. Suddenly, a wave of red flashed right in front of the Slytherin chaser, cutting him of, leaving the Gryffindor seeker time to stretch out his arm and grab hold of the tiny, golden snitch. The crowd went wild. Peter and Sirius jumped up and down and Remus celebrated in his wheelchair as the Gryffindor's sang, laughed and cheered. As Remus watched the team, he realised that the Gryffindor chaser who had blocked the Slytherin, and probably just won them the game, was none other than Mr James Potter. He flew straight towards them and gave Sirius a 'manly' hug before chuckling (giggling) like a maniac.

"Remus!" Sirius was looking at him awe and James and Peter where gaping at him.

"What…" Then he looked down. When he was celebrating, he didn't notice when he stood up. Stood up…. He could walk! "I don't understand." He was the one who was gaping now but his friends where grinning.

"Good old Madame Pomfrey!" Sirius flung his arm around Remus, like he had done a year ago.

"Gotta go!" James flew back down to the field were he was lifted onto his teams shoulders. He then grabbed the cup and proudly held it above his head as the Gryffindor supporters, but most importantly his friends, celebrated their win.

* * *

This is not a great writing but I couldn't leave it as it was :) And I didn't mean anything when I removed Remus from the wheelchair in case anyone's offended; Remus wasn't in a wheelchair in the books so I thought it would be for the best to keep it that way. Anyway, I thank you all once more :)


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